dead fish don't swim.

I'm trying to get better at putting things together.



Good luck.

I've been reading a lot of spanish poetry lately. I'm trying to get a feel for some of the literary devices that are characteristic of the hispanic culture; I wish I could say "my culture", but the truth is that like most Americans I have no real culture. No hispanic italian or russian culture. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in between. I wish that I could fish for my history, it feels like it should be swimming around in my blood, but it's not.

If you're interested in the half of the glass that's full, then you'll be happy to know that I have a boyfriend who goes on late night adventures in search of the best tasting chocolate ice cream for his premenstrual girlfriend.
Bottoms up.

chew us up and spit us out

oh she's so skinny.
with her bones and her skin and her fingernails and knuckles and teeth
skinny skinny skinnnny
and we all breathe her in, we breathe in her beautiful emaciation her starvation and we love it.
we drink it up
and we call it graceful.
we call it chic.
we plant little green seeds in our bellies
oh how they grow. tall and hungry.
we will never eat again.
all our little brittle branches fall off
and we call this deformation
beauty.

alive and (oh) well

Slumdog Millionaire is the best movie I have seen in a really really really long time. If you haven't seen it you should because it's just an incredibly beautiful film.

School started yesterday and I'm already anxious for it to be over with. But on the upside of things I have started planning my recital and I'm very excited about it. Two of my close friends are helping me make an awesome poster.

That's all for now.

deep as a graveyard.

I don't want to go back to school. I guess part of being a "grown-up", (whatever that means) is doing things that you don't want to do. The truth is I'm just burnt out. It doesn't feel important anymore. I want to be somewhere else. I want to be out there doing something that makes a tangible difference. And I really dislike most of the people that I'm surrounded with on a daily basis so that doesn't really help.

blah. I'm tired of talking about this.